Tuesday, 31 January 2017


Because I've finished all treatments, I think that people think the tiredness just disappears, however the effects from treatments can last  a while after you've finished. The tiredness is one of the worst effects because it really is indescribable, you just can't say how it makes you feel like it's rubbish but more than that, I've always tried to fight the tiredness but I've learned that's not the best thing to do because you get to a point where it consumes you, every day is different as some days I could just be too tired and feel that I don't have the energy to do anything, it's not just the tiredness from treatments I get it's all the physical work I have to do because of the stroke effects, even something as simple as going to the toilet feels like work because getting on and off the toilet/commode  is hard when you have limited mobility. I think it's hard to understand these effects unless you actually go through it yourself,  I wish that there was an easier way to describe the feeling that it gives you rather than just tired or rubbish because it's much more than that. 

Tuesday, 10 January 2017

MRI scan

On January 6th it was my first MRI scan since finishing chemo, I was feeling a mixture of nervous/worried/anxious&scared because you just don't know what's going to happen or what the outcome will be. I thought I'd write a post about what it was like  and how I managed to stay calm and hopefully it can help others in a similar situation. My Mums friend came with us on the day who stayed with us on the hospital when I was on the ward, it really helped to have her there because she has already been a big part of this journey and she helped to keep me and Mum calm and was there for us. My hospital family as I call them were there for us too, whether it's talking to me to distract me whilst having my cannula put in, or giving us lots of hugs to keep us chilled, they're always there, before the MRI we went to the oncology day unit and waited there for a while until it was time for our appointment, I had my cannula put in which I hated but people helped to distract me, I saw lots of familiar faces as you get to know everyone and it was nice to see them and catch up with them, they always ask about my physio and what else I have been up to, when it was time, we rolled over to the MRI department and then went in for my scan, I have to stand and step round to get onto the MRI bed and then have to get my head and shoulders in the right position, they put headphones on me (I was listening to the Kaiser Chiefs during this scan and was enjoying it too much that I got told off for moving because I was dancing) and then I go into the machine, the music helps to relax me and also my Mum always sits and holds my feet so that's comforting, it's very hard to hear the music properly because of how loud the machine is but I just try to zone the noise out and focus on the music. I'm in the machine for a little while and then they come and inject the dye into my cannula, then after I'm in for another little while and then it is over, when we were done there we had some  food as I was complaining of being hungry lol, then we went back up to the day unit where my consultant had the results, we're showed the scan on a computer and it's quite scary to  look at, , we were showed my last scan compared to my scan from that day, the tumour was looking significantly smaller which was great because it showed the treatment had worked, my consultant has always said to me that my scans will never look normal and he said remember what I always say, because of the bleeding and stuff from surgery my scan will never be clear or look normal. After talking with the nurses and doctors about my scan and seeing the results  I felt very relieved, now I can just see what happens at the next scan in a few months and focus my energy on physio instead of worrying.